02.29.08
Posted in Writing, Photography, Sea of Dreams, Second Chances at 3:22 pm by Bryan
Yeah, I know. I tease you into thinking that I’m going to start keeping up with the blog and then I disappear again. Well, I’m back, and I’ll try to do better.
I’ve been working quite a bit at getting the photography business up and running, as well as writing when I need a change of pace. I just started up a new site for online photo sales. Getting that started was a huge hassle since it was done under severe time pressures. I had to have things ready by this weekend. I just made it. I’m doing the photo upload even as I write to you now (and will be for another two hours).
It is not ready for “public” sales yet, just existing clients, but it will be soon. You can find it at http://bjwcreations.lifepics.com/ though at the moment you need an event code to access any photos. The nice thing about this site is that I can sort the images by client, giving each client access to only their photos, and I can accept orders and payments, the images are automatically transfered to my photo lab when the order is submitted, confirmation e-mails are automatically sent to my client when the order is placed, printed, and shipped (though at the moment I don’t have the shipping option ready). Eventually, if I wanted to, I could do a photographic road trip and be able to get images to clients around the country with very little hassle.
Other than the photography, I’ve been doing some writing… though not on “Sea of Dreams”. I’ve been working on “Second Chances” instead. I’m not sure why, other than it seems to be the one that is coming through easier. I actually have a complete story outline now and am working on replacing notes like “stuff happens here” with actual stuff. With “Sea of Dreams” I’m still not sure about where things are going… especially with Gabby. My main problem is that Gabby doesn’t really have much of an arc other than her adjustment to living without Steve. She’s fairly well put together and her adjustment is remarkably easy, which helps her deal with Ian’s issues but makes you wonder about how real she really is.
So, until I figure out how to screw her up without ruining her, I’ve put it on the back burner.
There you have it.
There it is.
I’ll try not to make you wait so long until the next update.
One hour twenty-nine minutes left. I guess I’ll go read the news.
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01.11.08
Posted in Writing, Photography at 10:30 am by Bryan
I’ve been on an extended hiatus. Not intentionally, mind you, but life has been conspiring, conspiring I say, to make the creative process as difficult as humanly possible. Stress had begun to build as long ago as September, and by the end of October it seemed that everything had fallen apart. November was mired in a depression that managed to kill every creative instinct I had. Life has kicked me in the balls and driven off every hope that I’d managed to build in the last four years.
Or has it?
Is it just possible that I’ve had an opportunity given to me. I actually have time to do what I’ve wanted to do for a very long while. Admittedly, my lifestyle has undergone yet another downsizing, even more than it had before, and truthfully, for the most part, I’m pretty boring now, but it’s made me realize just how lean I can live. And that in turn has suggested just how do-able my dreams might be.
Twelve weddings. That’s it. Twelve weddings a year could maintain me in the manner to which I’ve newly become accustomed. Twelve. In a year. One a month. That’s do-able, right? Everything else is gravy.
And time. Time to write. Time to create. Time to work on the website (which by the way is about half redesigned).
Cursed? Or blessed? Is it a sign? Well, if it is a sign, I would have much preferred a winning lottery ticket and a phone call from the photography department of Victoria’s Secret. But who am I to judge.
I think it’s time to get busy… to treat this opportunity with the passion with which I would have greeted it had it come at a time of my choosing.
I may not have money. But I do have time.
And desire.
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06.25.07
Posted in Photography at 10:39 am by Bryan
especially since it appears that I’m not updating regularly. Well, just so you know, there is another Mallory installment in the works, but I’ve found myself involved in a lot of photography related tasks lately.
First, I finally had the big wedding portfolio shoot. I had two models down from Ft. Wayne, one I’d worked with before the other contacted me as I was finalizing plans. So we did the dress and the getting ready and some lingerie, but we also did some professional/lifestyle work and some bikini stuff too. I’ll have results by this weekend.
The other thing that has been taking up some time is getting to know the folks at Ujena Swimwear. I’ve become an affiliate with them, and I’m seriously considering attending their Bikini Jam in Spain in May of ‘08. They have some great swimwear (some of which is on my website here) as well as clothes and accessories. If you decide to shop there, be sure to use Promo Code 983 to receive free shipping if the shop doesn’t automatically take care of that for you.
Next up… Mallory.
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12.18.06
Posted in Photography, Images at 8:00 am by Bryan
Well, it’s official. I am now an artist. I know, I know, you’re going to tell me I’ve been an artist for a very long time, but it feels different now. On Saturday, I dropped off three of my photographs with the Curator of Art, Artifacts, and Photographs at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction.
The first thing that happened to me took place on Friday night when I picked up the prints in their mattes and frames. They were beautiful. I almost didn’t want to let them go. The prints themselves are eleven inches by seventeen inches, with a three inch matte around them and matte black gallery frames. I’ve never seen my photographs looking like this. Keep in mind, my photography is either “for me” or “for the client”. “My stuff” is printed anywhere from 1×1 to 11×14. I do have a few landscapes matted and framed, but it’s haphazard, and it’s really just so I can hang them on my own walls. Seeing my prints like this put them in a new light for me.
Then came Saturday, when I delivered the photographs, and talked with the Curator.
She showed such an interest in me, and in the models in the photographs, and in the stories behind the photoshoots. But the most rewarding thing was that she thought the pieces were as beautiful as I did. It was then that I realized that much of what I’ve done “for me” didn’t necessarily have to be “just” for me. And that is true of my landscape work as well.
Truthfully, I’ve been told this before, and recently too. But somehow, you don’t take it as seriously when it comes from friends and family. You don’t quite dismiss the praise, but you do discount it so that it seems worth less, as if they might be saying nice things because that’s what friends and family do.
Today, I received an e-mail telling me that Amy Leigh is already hanging on the wall of the hallway just outside the entrance to the gallery. I’m officially an artist.
I don’t feel any different. Well, actually I do. Two things are different. First, I’m looking at “my stuff” with a different eye. I’m looking at possibilities for the future. Second, I’m listening to friends and family with a different ear. Just because they are close to me doesn’t mean they aren’t serious about what they say. And that goes for my writing as well.
I’m committed to entering these pieces in a juried art show (which essentially means that there is a judge who decides whether or not they are good enough to be displayed, and then, of those displayed a “best of show” winner is chosen) as well as shooting a new series toward the middle of next year in order to prepare for the 2008 show.
Being an artist is… invigorating.
The images at the gallery are below the fold. They are nudes, so if you don’t want to see them don’t go there. Also, if you comment, the permalink will show the images, so you can comment on a previous post if you prefer.
Read the rest of this entry »
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11.15.06
Posted in Photography at 12:00 pm by Bryan
Okay. I have news, but the details are not yet set in stone, so I have to give you the news without the details.
There is a very good possibility that some of my photographs will be added to a very prestigious collection. This opportunity came about through the efforts of the mother of an actress I had the pleasure of meeting and working with in the last few weeks. She gave the curator of this collection my website address, and this week I was contacted and asked if I was interested.
On some levels, it’s a little overwhelming. I don’t have any gallery-ready prints. I’ve never been truely confident that I had gallery-worthy abilities. In addition to having work permanently included in the collection, I have the opportunity to have work included in two showings as well as a juried exhibition. Again, something I’m not quite ready for mentally. So, not only do I need to wrap my head around this, I need to come up with the cash to prepare for it. Like I said, a bit overwhelming.
And Mum, when you read this, know that while the exhibition is probably not something you would want to attend, it is sponsored by a very prestigious and reputable organization. And even though it involves the work that you prefer not to see, you won’t be embarrassed to have my name associated with my images.
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08.09.06
Posted in Writing, Photography at 8:00 am by Bryan
I’ve spent much of this year wishing it was over. There are many reasons for this but, to sum it up, mainly it’s because next year is going to be better. It’s not just a feeling… it’s a certainty. Specifically, I’m looking forward to January 15th.
But in the process of wishing the year away, I’ve essentially put much of my life on hold. There are things that I want to do that I can’t do or won’t do until after January 15th. Which means, more than usual, I find myself looking at the previous seven months wondering where the time has gone. It’s an odd feeling. Relief and nostalgia in equal measure.
I’ve done some things worthwhile. I finally started to take my writing seriously, though I’m now working on a project that didn’t even exist in May, and there is no way in hell that I’ll make my self-imposed deadline of August 15th… I feel good about my writing, and while I haven’t done as much as I would like on the photography front, what I have done has been worthwhile as well.
So, it’s been an interesting year. I can’t wait until it’s finally over, but when it is I’ll be asking where the time went.
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07.25.06
Posted in Writing, Photography at 8:15 am by Bryan
Not sure what happened yesterday.
Well, actually I am. I didn’t get up as early as usual, was running ragged most of the day, and had things to do during lunch. By the afternoon I’d forgotten all about my blogging responsibilities.
Things are proceeding comfortably for now… Gabby doesn’t seem to be holding a grudge and I’m making a concerted effort to pay attention.
Meanwhile, the model I was going to meet in DC has backed out… apparently she thought I was going to be there at the end of this month as opposed to the end of next month. No worries. I will just spend a day doing what I had originally planned to do anyway. Architectural photography in black and white.
I’m running late again this morning, so I need to get going. Too many late nights with Gabby. Talk to you tomorrow.
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07.22.06
Posted in Writing, Photography, Acheivments, Current Projects, Second Chances at 8:00 am by Bryan
I wrote this morning. That’s two mornings in a row now.
I haven’t touched the beginning yet. So far, everything I’ve written since the End Of The Block has been strictly dialog… all these conversations that I’d ignored while trying to fix what wasn’t broke. When I say “strictly” dialog… I mean out of roughly 1,000 words, fifteen of them are not contained within quotation marks. I have to get these conversations on paper. Then there is one scene much later that will have a little more action and description that I have to write down. After that, I can come back and make sure it all works.
I haven’t decided what to do about the beginning yet. I think my frustration with it is driving the temptation to trash it entirely… but I think I can make parts of it work if I place them in present tense as it happens rather than memories. I will come back to it after the pain has subsided a little.
Working today, so probably no writing until tomorrow.
Still no check in the mail. I got the negatives sorted and waiting. Trying to be good and not hound the bride for money. The thing is, I won’t actually make a profit from this wedding until I pick up final payment in a few weeks… hopefully before I go to DC.
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07.17.06
Posted in Writing, Photography, Modeling at 8:00 am by Bryan
It was a weekend without a flow.
Friday was my day off, and though there were a bunch of things I wanted to get done, not much was actually accomplished. Originally, I was supposed to meet with the bride from the wedding I did a few weeks ago to pick up her enlargement order. That didn’t happen, so it also means I didn’t pick up the check for the enlargement order. Even though I did meet with her yesterday, I still didn’t get the check. Well, as it turns out, I did some shopping around. If I use my old lab to process the order I can save about 25% even after paying for postage, but I would need to prepay the costs which isn’t possible without getting paid first. This takes the brides costs from $800 to $600, so I’ll call her later today to see if she wants to send a check otherwise I’m going with the original quote.
On the good side of the tally for Friday (or at least interesting side), I was at Common Grounds just chilling out, when a young lady came in that I recognized but couldn’t place where I knew her from. I thought maybe I’d just recognized her from the coffee shop. It turns out we spent about four hours sitting next to each other playing a trivia game in a bar about six or seven months ago (I was helping her beat the competition, who were none the wiser). As it turns out, she just got a tattoo on her side (which is beautiful, by the way) and I’ve been looking to shoot a tattoo. So after it heals a bit, we’ll do some pictures of it.
Saturday I was at my day job, but I did make time to meet with SS to give her the prints from three of the seven rolls we shot together. The other four rolls were slides and my local lab doesn’t process slides in-house anymore, so they were sent off. It’ll be a few weeks before I can get those to her.
Sunday, was Starbuck’s Sunday, but it was not successful. There were a lot more distractions than usual (or at least I wasn’t able to block them out), and the bride was late arriving which threw off my day. I was really disappointed in what I was able to write Sunday. Actually, I was disappointed in just about everything Sunday. It was almost the kind of day where you would have been better off staying in bed.
And actually, that’s what I wish I could do today. My back hurts. My knees hurt. I’m unmotivated in both my day job and in writing. It’s a good thing I’m going on vacation in a month. It’ll be good to have a change of scenery.
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07.15.06
Posted in Writing, Photography, Method, Current Projects, Second Chances at 8:00 am by Bryan
I’m still not sure what my decision is going to be in the end, but tomorrow I’m taking only Second Chances with me to Starbuck’s. It’s at a point right now where the first two chapters have a skeleton. I wouldn’t be comfortable setting the story aside without at least fine tuning a few things in it first.
I’m going to give Amber Marie a sister. Jason already has a sister, so I’m going to introduce some of his staff as well. Then it’s a matter of filling in the backstory a little better than “and then this happened, and then that happened, and then…”
Though I haven’t received an e-mail confirming it yet, I think I will also have a meeting with the bride and groom from a couple months ago with the order for their pictures. She e-mailed me yesterday saying they were ready, so I might as well take care of that tomorrow, too.
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07.12.06
Posted in Photography at 8:00 am by Bryan
Me: “Um, here.”
::hands a plastic bag with a few clothing items to co-worker::
CW: ” ”
::co-worker stares at me, not sure what is going on::
Me: “Your daughter left these at my place Saturday.”
::co-worker nods::
CW: ”Thanks.”
Me: “Sure.”
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07.10.06
Posted in Writing, Photography, Modeling, Method, Current Projects, Second Chances at 8:00 am by Bryan
I had a really pleasant photoshoot on Saturday. SS wants to do local advertising and catalog work so we had a portfolio building shoot. We’d worked together once last year, and though she has very little experience, the difference that year has made in her confidence was amazing. She’s still a little unsure of herself, often asking after she strikes a pose or tries out an expression if that was dumb or silly or unflattering. Usually she nailed it.
At one point, she asked whether “it would be okay” to pose a certain way, and a thought struck me. I already knew that she was unsure of herself, but she had good instincts. I didn’t mind giving her the positive feedback, but I knew that in a catalog shoot the pace is usually much faster and other than “good” or “great” or “a little to the left” the photographer is not going to want to spend much time building her confidence. The thing that hit me was that she could get the feedback she was looking for while asking the question in a more confident way. Rather than “would it be okay” she could ask “how about something like this”. She’d be asserting her creative energy, asking for feedback, but not sounding as if she needed reassurance.
SS did a great job.
Then, after the shoot, even though I was sore (I always have a sore back after a six hour shoot; part of the joys of being old) I called a model in Texas. One of the first things I want to do for myself next year is work on an idea for the cover of Second Chances. I don’t want to reveal too much about why T is the model I need, but after talking to her Saturday I knew she was going to be the perfect choice to represent Amber Marie.
Once I’m closer to being a real live published author, I think I’m going to steal an idea from Shannon Stacey and put up a behind the scenes section for some of my character motivations. I never really thought about it before, but Amber Marie and T will deserve it. Aside from Gabby, who will always be my muse and collaborator, I don’t think I’ve ever created a character who meant more to me than Amber Marie.
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07.07.06
Posted in Writing, Photography at 8:00 am by Bryan
Real Life is a pain in the ass sometimes.
I’m being pulled in several directions at once, all of them away from writing. What I want to do is spend 48 hours locked in a room with my WIPs. The thing is, some of the tasks pulling me away are not necessarily things I don’t want to do. In fact, tomorrow I will have virtually no chance for writing until after 9pm but the photoshoot I have scheduled is one that I’ve been looking forward to for well over a week.
Tonight, I need to clean in order to be able to host the shoot tomorrow. Dust. Especially dust. It’s amazing how I don’t really notice it until the prospect of having company presents itself, and then it’s a panic. I was looking at my stereo equipment last night and it’s surprising how much dust has collected in such a small space. How does it get between the receiver and the DVD player? That’s what, less than a quarter inch space. The fact that I leave my windows open unless it is over 90 degrees outside probably doesn’t help.
I’ll probably have to dust first, then vacuum, otherwise I’ll be running the Hoover twice.
So no writing tonight. Not much tomorrow. Can you say “Starbuck’s Sunday”? I knew you could.
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06.29.06
Posted in Uncategorized, Writing, Photography, Modeling, Sea of Dreams, Angel in Disguise, Current Projects, Second Chances at 8:00 am by Bryan
1. Science Fiction writer/publisher Jim Baen died yesterday.
2. This weekend will be fairly busy and I’m not sure how much blogging I will get done, much less writing. Friday, I’m helping a friend set up an above-ground pool, then Saturday a trampoline. Sunday should be a Starbuck’s day if everything works out, just me and my muse.
3. I’ve got a photoshoot with a new model the following weekend. I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit the last week or so, preparing my mind for it. She’s very inexperienced and unsure exactly what types of work she wants to get, so it is probably going to be a shoot where we talk almost as much as we actually shoot. There are so many things she needs to learn about the business, what to expect, what sorts of conduct to expect from photographers and art directors, etc. I like these shoots more than I’m letting on here. They’re actually quite relaxing because there are no time pressures and no set agenda. I’ve made some wardrobe recommendations, and I have a few things for her to try out, but nothing is written in stone. I have no idea what we will actually be doing. Fun.
4. I received an email from a model I worked with in DC about 6 years ago. She wants to shoot again when I am there at the end of August. I was planning to sneak away from family for a couple day trips here and there to do some architectural photography anyway, so we will probably try to slip in some casual and lifestyle shots on one of those days… if it ever stops raining, that is.
5. I actually found myself doing research again for Second Chances. I needed an accurate feel as to recovery periods and medical prognosis after particular injuries. It’s already been emotionally investing. I barely have any character developement done at all, and it still hurts to feel what Amber Marie has gone through. This is the story that that Gabby is responsible for.
6. I think Gabby Carruthers will be my nom de plum for those stories that I think might benefit by being written by a woman (or at least be a harder sell if written by a man). For this reason, Angel in Disguise will probably also be credited to Gabby. The other stories will remain mine for the time being, especially Sea of Dreams since Gabby is in that one.
7. Martina Hingis won her second round match at Wimbledon yesterday. She’s currently ranked at #15 in the world after starting her comeback this year. As of January 7th she was unranked, so she’s been doing well.
8. I’m not sure what’s going on with Team USA in soccer. They were ranked #5 in the world by FIFA but they can’t get out of the first round? I think we’ve been second class for so long that the team gets nervous as they step onto the pitch in the World Cup. It’s the only explanation I can think of, because we’re better than we showed in Germany this year. Oh, well. We get to try again in four more years.
9. I’m listening to Lisa Gerrard right now. Mellow.
10. Believe it or not, vanilla really is my favorite flavor.
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06.28.06
Posted in Writing, Photography, Method at 12:00 pm by Bryan
I was digging through boxes again last night. Several things showed up that reminded me that these dreams I have today, the things I want to accomplish, have been with me for a very long time.
One of the treasures was a paper I’d written for an English class in high school. The paper was supposed to be “Descriptive” of something. I remember racking my brain trying to find something to describe, about which I could write a two page paper. I decided to make it up. I wrote about a squad of US soldiers during World War II who, having just taken a hill, commandeered a mansion in which to rest. This is where the description begins… when they enter the dining room, they find it set, with dinner ready. I described what they found… succulent this and fresh that. I got an A- (mostly because I can’t spell, and this was in the days before spill chuckers). The teacher made a comment that at first she thought I’d written a “Narrative” paper until she realized what I was describing and how I’d chosen to do it. That was over twenty years ago.
My photography work followed much the same. I couldn’t stand snapshots. The first successful photographs I remember taking were in Hawaii. We lived there for three years when I was a kid. True it’s hard to take a bad picture in Hawaii, but I wanted something other than snapshots. I took a three day field trip to the Big Island with school. One of the places we went was Rainbow Falls. This was the first time I remember trying out the idea of “composition” in my photographs.
I think I was in the sixth or seventh grade at the time, and I’d never had a photography class, but I specifically remember trying to get some overhanging branches in the foreground to frame the picture. I was using an instamatic camera with the old 120mm cartridges of film (can you even still find that film?). Later, when I was in high school, I entered two of the pictures in a contest. I didn’t win, but I did get an “honorable mention” for one of them.
I still do the same thing today. I’m pretty much self-taught as both a writer and a photographer. One good thing about my self-doubt is that I’m constantly looking at my own work critically, and in turn trying to improve upon it. Of course the bad news is that since I am self-taught my learning curve is probably much longer than it otherwise would have been had I taken it seriously and study my craft(s) twenty years ago.
I don’t know where the next twenty years will lead, but I look forward to the journey.
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