06.29.06
Posted in Uncategorized, Writing, Photography, Modeling, Sea of Dreams, Angel in Disguise, Current Projects, Second Chances at 8:00 am by Bryan
1. Science Fiction writer/publisher Jim Baen died yesterday.
2. This weekend will be fairly busy and I’m not sure how much blogging I will get done, much less writing. Friday, I’m helping a friend set up an above-ground pool, then Saturday a trampoline. Sunday should be a Starbuck’s day if everything works out, just me and my muse.
3. I’ve got a photoshoot with a new model the following weekend. I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit the last week or so, preparing my mind for it. She’s very inexperienced and unsure exactly what types of work she wants to get, so it is probably going to be a shoot where we talk almost as much as we actually shoot. There are so many things she needs to learn about the business, what to expect, what sorts of conduct to expect from photographers and art directors, etc. I like these shoots more than I’m letting on here. They’re actually quite relaxing because there are no time pressures and no set agenda. I’ve made some wardrobe recommendations, and I have a few things for her to try out, but nothing is written in stone. I have no idea what we will actually be doing. Fun.
4. I received an email from a model I worked with in DC about 6 years ago. She wants to shoot again when I am there at the end of August. I was planning to sneak away from family for a couple day trips here and there to do some architectural photography anyway, so we will probably try to slip in some casual and lifestyle shots on one of those days… if it ever stops raining, that is.
5. I actually found myself doing research again for Second Chances. I needed an accurate feel as to recovery periods and medical prognosis after particular injuries. It’s already been emotionally investing. I barely have any character developement done at all, and it still hurts to feel what Amber Marie has gone through. This is the story that that Gabby is responsible for.
6. I think Gabby Carruthers will be my nom de plum for those stories that I think might benefit by being written by a woman (or at least be a harder sell if written by a man). For this reason, Angel in Disguise will probably also be credited to Gabby. The other stories will remain mine for the time being, especially Sea of Dreams since Gabby is in that one.
7. Martina Hingis won her second round match at Wimbledon yesterday. She’s currently ranked at #15 in the world after starting her comeback this year. As of January 7th she was unranked, so she’s been doing well.
8. I’m not sure what’s going on with Team USA in soccer. They were ranked #5 in the world by FIFA but they can’t get out of the first round? I think we’ve been second class for so long that the team gets nervous as they step onto the pitch in the World Cup. It’s the only explanation I can think of, because we’re better than we showed in Germany this year. Oh, well. We get to try again in four more years.
9. I’m listening to Lisa Gerrard right now. Mellow.
10. Believe it or not, vanilla really is my favorite flavor.
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06.28.06
Posted in Writing, Photography, Method at 12:00 pm by Bryan
I was digging through boxes again last night. Several things showed up that reminded me that these dreams I have today, the things I want to accomplish, have been with me for a very long time.
One of the treasures was a paper I’d written for an English class in high school. The paper was supposed to be “Descriptive” of something. I remember racking my brain trying to find something to describe, about which I could write a two page paper. I decided to make it up. I wrote about a squad of US soldiers during World War II who, having just taken a hill, commandeered a mansion in which to rest. This is where the description begins… when they enter the dining room, they find it set, with dinner ready. I described what they found… succulent this and fresh that. I got an A- (mostly because I can’t spell, and this was in the days before spill chuckers). The teacher made a comment that at first she thought I’d written a “Narrative” paper until she realized what I was describing and how I’d chosen to do it. That was over twenty years ago.
My photography work followed much the same. I couldn’t stand snapshots. The first successful photographs I remember taking were in Hawaii. We lived there for three years when I was a kid. True it’s hard to take a bad picture in Hawaii, but I wanted something other than snapshots. I took a three day field trip to the Big Island with school. One of the places we went was Rainbow Falls. This was the first time I remember trying out the idea of “composition” in my photographs.
I think I was in the sixth or seventh grade at the time, and I’d never had a photography class, but I specifically remember trying to get some overhanging branches in the foreground to frame the picture. I was using an instamatic camera with the old 120mm cartridges of film (can you even still find that film?). Later, when I was in high school, I entered two of the pictures in a contest. I didn’t win, but I did get an “honorable mention” for one of them.
I still do the same thing today. I’m pretty much self-taught as both a writer and a photographer. One good thing about my self-doubt is that I’m constantly looking at my own work critically, and in turn trying to improve upon it. Of course the bad news is that since I am self-taught my learning curve is probably much longer than it otherwise would have been had I taken it seriously and study my craft(s) twenty years ago.
I don’t know where the next twenty years will lead, but I look forward to the journey.
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06.27.06
Posted in Writing, Samples at 12:00 pm by Bryan
After an e-mail inquiry, and considering the fact that I’m suffering from writer’s block both with my WIPs and the blog, I give you the never before published anywhere Personal Ad created while a member of The Errand Gang.
Wendy,
Where are you hiding? I’ve been looking everywhere for you. This game’s not fun anymore and the Lost Boys are getting on my nerves. I don’t think that I can go on much longer here without you. Come back to me. I want to grow up. Second star to the right and straight on ’til morning.
Peter.
So there you have it. Hopefully my brain will be in gear tomorrow.
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06.26.06
Posted in Uncategorized at 8:00 am by Bryan
Okay, it’s not a contest for writing or photography validating my talents, nor is it the lottery that will set me up as a financially independent struggling author living on a sailboat. Instead I won a $5 gift certificate from Sharon at Write Minded to buy Shannon Stacey’s book 72 Hours. I really enjoyed her book Twice Upon a Roadtrip, so I look forward to reading this one.
Who knows, maybe that lottery win is just around the corner. You think I should start buying tickets?
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06.24.06
Posted in Writing, Method, The Dragon's Dream, Current Projects at 8:00 am by Bryan
I was sifting through some boxes last night and came across a stack of loose pages. It took a moment to figure out where they came from. The holes punched for a three ring binder reminded me. They were in a blue folder, though today I have no idea where that folder is. Here is some of what I found:
1. A personal ad - years ago, I used to be a member of a group called The Errand Gang. The name of this group has a story in itself. Briefly, one of the members (the one I had a crush on) had a boyfriend and wasn’t allowed to go out to happy hour after work on Friday’s. I managed to convince her that all she had to do was tell the boyfriend that she needed to run an errand. After that, about once or twice a month, an e-mail would circulate that it was time to run an errand. Anyway, another member of The Errand Gang had seperated from her husband and was quite depressed about it since she hadn’t been on the dating scene in twenty years and really didn’t think it would be fair that she was the one who would wind up bitter and lonely when it was her husband who was running around with a younger woman. So we decided that we’d all write personal ads for ourselves. For some reason, I saved mine.
2. A little blurb about monsters and evil and how, as we grow up, there are things we no longer see. But they’re still there, metaphorically hiding under the bed.
3. The original beginning of A Dragon’s Dream. This tells me that the idea for the story has been running around in my head for over ten years. The original was set in a fantasy world and was a quest story. Some of the characters were pretty interesting, including an old one-armed veteren named Lefty (because he uses the only arm he has left) and a sixteen year old girl who is extremely strong willed.
4. The beginning of a story called Urquhart which has now morphed into The Dragon’s Dream. It originally began in present day and then flashed back with the memories of the Loch Ness monster.
5. The beginning of a story called The Thaw, in which a man is thawed out after having been frozen in a glacier for 6500 years. A female linguist is instrumental in figuring out the language he’s using (it’s a root of Gaelic).
I’d forgotten all about these things. Sometimes going through old boxes reveals more than telephone bills from 1987.
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06.23.06
Posted in Writing, Acheivments, Sea of Dreams, Angel in Disguise, Current Projects, Second Chances at 10:00 am by Bryan
I’ve caught up on all my typing.
For the next several days, I’ll be going into serious polish mode on Angel in Disguise and Second Chances. Once that is done and the edits keyed, I will be returning to Sea of Dreams to hit that hard and heavy. I am way behind schedule for August 15th, so I need to try to make some progress.
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06.22.06
Posted in Writing, Acheivments, Sea of Dreams, The Dragon's Dream, Angel in Disguise, Current Projects, Second Chances at 12:00 pm by Bryan
I was distracted yesterday and forgot what day it was, so I’ll do the counts today. Besides, I’m not sure what I want to post today.
Sea of Dreams - planning only; no new words
Angel in Disguise - fairly raw; needs polish
Second Chances - very raw; needs lot’s of polish
The Dragon’s Dream - needs lots of research; on hold
Like I said before… trudging
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06.21.06
Posted in Writing, Samples at 12:00 pm by Bryan
So, this probably won’t make the final cut:
Gabby lit a cigarette with shaking hands, something Bryan’s editor complained about since it set a bad example and Gabby hasn’t smoked for the entire novel. Well, screw her, Gabby thought as she took a deep drag and reveled in the initial hit of nicotine. If that bitch was half as human as I am, she’d be doing the same thing after what I’ve been through. Gabby silently thanked Bryan for being a bit of a rebel, and prayed that he didn’t decide to give her lung cancer in another hundred pages.
What is it you want to write?
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Posted in Uncategorized at 8:00 am by Bryan
It’s an odd feeling to know that a specific person is going to die at a specific time. One of the interesting characters who shows up sporadically in Real Life, underwent heart surgery last week. Things didn’t go well. They will be taking him off life support today.
It’s difficult to feel too sorry for him; he didn’t listen to his doctor when he was told to pay attention to his diabetes and take better care of himself, and he didn’t listen to his doctor when he recommended that he not undergo this surgery. But you can still feel sorry for the loss, because he was, after all, a character. And what’s a story without characters?
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06.20.06
Posted in Writing, Second Chances at 8:00 am by Bryan
I hate the Writing without Polishing Method. Sure you get the ideas down and fly through the story, but it’s bland, it’s depressing. I don’t think I can keep doing it. I’ve got the first two chapters of Second Chances done, but by the word count, it’s barely worthy of one chapter. And I hate reading it. The plot elements are there, but there’s no polish. Where’s the Pledge? I got some polishing to do.
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06.19.06
Posted in Writing, Photography at 12:00 pm by Bryan
It’s been ten years since I left Memphis. Every now and then, I wonder if I did the right thing. Career-wise, it was probably a mistake. Sure I took a 50% raise by moving into consulting work, but I also gave up the security of a long-time salaried position in a job where my skills and opinions were respected. But my personal life was a mess. I’d been dating an insane woman on and off for three years. By “insane”, I’m not exaggerating much. In a three day period, I intervened in her suicide twice, the second time calling her mother who then had her committed for 72 hours (which precipitated one of our breakups - this time for the three month period that she refused to talk to me).
So I dealt with this roller coaster for far longer than I should have, and by the time the opportunity to become a consultant showed up at my door I was ready to escape. What followed was two years of long hours and loneliness. When that contract ran out, I had a lot of money and no friends. The only good thing that came out of that time period was LM. I was sitting in a bar when she walked up to me and said “Buy a lonely waitress a drink?” No shit. I knew it was a line, she knew it was a line, but just the fact that she had the confidence to say it was refreshing.
It was six months before I lined up another contract. What I should have done at this point was start my photo studio. I’ve always enjoyed photography and writing, but I never really believed that I was good enough at either to make a living at it. Sometimes, I’m still not sure.
When I was a kid, I had the dreams of joining Jacques Cousteau’s crew or being a vet. I grew out of it. In high school, I thought I was going to be an accountant, until I got to college and realized what that life would be like. By then, I was getting some experience with computers (this was in the day when a laptop weighed thirty pounds and had a seven inch screen). I got my first programming job not long after I dropped out of college (in my senior year).
I loved the work, but I was always restless, unsatisfied. I wanted to be doing something else. I just didn’t know what. So, here I am, in between contracts, living with an artist/waitress and I should have done it. But I was too afraid to do it. What if I wasn’t good enough?
Then my next contract was misery. 9 to 5 working for the state and 95% of what I was doing was bullshit. It was a five year project that should have been done in six months. I spent a year writing specs to tell the programmers what to write when I could have written the programs quicker than I could have written the specs. Most of my time was spent formatting the specs to match the specs for the specs. Needless to say, I was not happy. After that contract was up, I opted not to renew. It probably would have been a mutual decision anyway. Let’s say that that was the only time in my life that I burned a bridge.
The next few years were odd jobs and lost time. I did landscaping work, I painted houses, I bartended and waited tables, I sold lingerie. I thought I finally found something that I wanted, really wanted, when I started doing photography work for a modeling agency. Unfortunately, the owner had some unsavory business practices and eventually started bouncing checks to me as well as the models.
So there I was, broke, gone through three jobs in a year… had to sell my car and my sailboat just to get by and I wasn’t really any closer to being happy than I was ten years before. After the initial recovery (which included yet another stint at waiting tables, now at the age of 39) I decided it was time to get back on track. I’m still working on that. I can see the track now, and should reach it by spring of next year. And the fact that I can see the track again is what allows me to dream again. Last month, the dream started to come into focus. I don’t know if I will ever be able to make a living by writing and taking pictures. At this point, I don’t care. I have a job now that is not stressful, nor does it seem like a waste of time. Maybe it’s not as interesting as selling lingerie, but it pays better. I now have time to dream. I have time to doubt as well, don’t get me wrong. But even if the doubts come true, I can still keep trying… or just do it for fun. And just see what dreams may come…
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06.17.06
Posted in Uncategorized at 8:00 am by Bryan
Well, yesterday was laundry day and today I’m working at the library, so I really don’t have much to write about. I’ll finish reading The Bourne Identity tonight and I plan to spend about six hours at Starbuck’s tomorrow writing. I’m not sure which story I’ll be working on so I’ll probably take all of them with me (you know, just in case).
So until Monday, take care.
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06.16.06
Posted in Writing, Method at 8:00 am by Bryan
Something happened to me the other day and it brought an epiphany. I need to be a bit careful about how I describe what happened as things could get very difficult for both me and the person who inspired this entry should I get too specific. As a backstory, let me say that in the four active stories I have at the moment, all four heroes have one thing in common with me.
We all suffer from Knight in Shining Armor Syndrome.
My affliction reared its ugly head this week. I have a casual friend who I see only within the confines of a narrow environment. Outside of this environment, we have absolutely no contact. Over the last year or so, this friend has withstood tremendous stresses, traumas that would shake the resolve of most women, and she has held up with tremendous strength and grace.
In the last couple months, it appeared that her strength was finally paying off and those stresses were finally easing. Well, this week she revealed something new. Her husband has been verbally abusive for a number of years and recently it became physical.
Let me tell you, KiSA kicked in hard when I heard this.
What I was left with after our conversation was a battle within myself that my male characters often have to face. The first battle is to control the urge for retribution. It’s a battle that, for me, is usually easily won since I tend to be a slow burn and very cerebral about my emotions. But the urge is there. I want to hurt the person that hurt my friend. I’ve only ever lost this battle once, a number of years ago when the abuse took place in front of me, and to this day, while I regret losing control, I still have a feeling of satisfaction when I remember the fear I saw in his eyes when he believed he was in for a serious pounding. I never actually hurt him. I regained control too quickly. But the rage was loose.
After the initial urge is controlled comes the more seductive, and in some ways more dangerous and unhealthy desire. And that is to rescue her, to comfort her, to show her that all men are not like that. It sounds innocent enough, but what I’ve found is that the woman who allows herself to be rescued is not usually strong enough to have a healthy relationship, and the woman who is strong enough doesn’t need to be rescued.
Nasty little Catch-22 there, eh?
I think this is why the idea of writing romances has such an appeal for me. I can create a woman strong enough to get through the issues she needs to work through so that she is then ready for the hero. And the hero doesn’t really do anything more heroic than to be a friend. Of course that leads to the situation that Gabby and Ian find themselves in now: how do you get out of friend mode?
Something else I battle with on a regular basis.
In fiction, the circumstances needed for the “Happily Ever After” can be manipulated without compromising the strength of the characters.
In real life, nothing can be controlled except your own actions.
Fortunately, my friend appears to be a strong woman. She is gathering information and preparing an escape kit. She’ll get through this. She’ll be safe.
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06.15.06
Posted in Photography, Images at 10:00 am by Bryan
Okay, I stole that line from Paul Bettany in A Knights Tale, but that’s what it sort of feels like, blog-wise, today. The stories are, well… trudging. Progress is being made, slow progress, but progress none the less. So with that in mind, and stealing another line, this time from Monty Python, “… and now for something completely different”.
I came to the realization this morning that I live in a very small town. I was at one of my favorite non-Starbuck’s coffee shops (not that there’s anything wrong with Starbuck’s) talking with the owner as I relaxed before going to work. She was telling me of the difficulties that another photographer had a few weeks ago.
This photographer is fairly inexperienced and has his studio space because his father is the attorney for the management company of the mall. You know, he’s connected. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. So anyway, he has begun to network, as most of us do, and a few photographer friends of his each brought a model with them and somebody arranged for a brand new Mercedes to be on hand, etc., etc.
For those of you who have never witnessed or been involved in a fashion shoot, let me explain a few things. Fashion models are used to quick wardrobe changes, sometimes with only a couple towels held up to be their dressing room, and because each wardrobe item will have a different cut and be made of different materials, they rarely wear underwear during a shoot or if they do it’s usually a thong.
So now we go back to small town Indiana. You’ve got four models wandering around at 10 in the morning. They are fully, though scantily clad, sitting on the car, posing, wandering around downtown, with four photographers in company. Somebody complains. No problem, it’s happened to me before. You just move on to another location. Well, the somebody follows and complains again. Eventually, the somebody calls the police, who come out, interrupt the shoot, talk to the photographers and models but since no laws are being broken they can’t really do anything else.
They just interrupt.
Keep in mind, these photographers are paying the models anywhere from $50 an hour up to $750 per day (I don’t know the specific rates they negotiated but those are typical rates for this area). And they have four models. Every interruption costs them money. And all this because one busybody took it upon themselves to follow the shoot. I could understand if the person had children with them and didn’t want the kids to see the shoot. I’ve moved locations without even being asked for that very reason. But for an adult to take it upon themselves to be the morality police (and keep in mind these girls were all fully clothed, just not clothes you typically see at 10 in the morning on a Saturday in a sleepy midwestern town) is a bit ridiculous in my opinion.
The local photographer was quite embarrassed by the situation, the models and out of town photographers thinking the place a bit of a hick town. He probably won’t invite out of town folks to Columbus again anytime soon, which is a shame as there are lots of very cool locations here.
In my photography career, I’ve been tossed from locations before. In South Carolina, I was working on a bikini calendar one summer and was told to leave a certain university’s campus because we had a girl in a thong bikini in one of their fountains. Security drove up, told us we couldn’t be there, and we left. We travelled about twenty miles to a different university (which incidently had nicer fountains) and started shooting again. Keep in mind, it’s summer and the universities were both fairly quiet. Well, again security drives up and the other photographer and I look at each other. We’re about to get tossed again. Wrong. The security officer simply asks us to move our car. You never know.
Here is one of the shots taken before we were tossed from the first university (prior to getting in the fountain).
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06.14.06
Posted in Writing, Acheivments, Sea of Dreams, The Dragon's Dream, Angel in Disguise, Current Projects, Second Chances at 12:00 pm by Bryan
I’ve made a few changes in the goals. I’m probably going to try to get AiD with Ellora’s Cave or something similar, so I think it just needs to be Novel Length. I’ve adjusted the word count goal to 70,000. SC will probably go to someone like Harlequin NEXT, so the goal there is 80,000. SoD could conceivably be considered for contemporary fiction rather than romance, so I’ll leave the goal at 100,000. Likewise with DD, but that will require a lot of research so it is on the back burner until I discover that I actually have enough talent to sell.
Here’s the count:
Sea of Dreams
Angel in Disguise
Second Chances
The Dragon’s Dream
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06.13.06
Posted in Photography at 8:00 am by Bryan
Normally, I wouldn’t comment much on copyright infringement, not because I feel it isn’t important, but rather because it happens so often that you would need a network of ten bloggers out searching for it just to do the topic justice. I’m making an exception here and will be posting this on both Dark and Stormy Nights and Off the Wall.
Blogger, author, and photographer Michael Yon has spent many months in Iraq and Afghanistan documenting the war on terror. Whether you are for or against the war, whether you believe it is run well or being mishandled, whether you are Republican or Democrat or conservative or liberal, most of you believe in your hearts that our soldiers are deserving of our respect and honor. I, too, believe that.
On my MySpace profile, I list Michael Yon as one of my heroes, in the same line as Ernie Pyle and Joe Galloway. Mr. Yon does not know me, nor I him, but he would probably feel uneasy being placed in the same category as those two great photographers. He’ll just have to get over it. History will judge, but I believe Mr. Yon is kin to Mr. Pyle and Mr. Galloway.
Why am I telling you this?
Because of this photograph.
Michael Yon has been negotiating with French conglomerate HFM (publisher of American Photo, Boating, Car and Driver, Cycle World, ELLE, ELLE Decor, ELLEgirl, Flying, For Me, Home, Metropolitan Home, Popular Photography & Imaging, Premiere, Road & Track, Road & Track Road Gear, Road & Track Speed, Sound & Vision, Woman’s Day and Woman’s Day Special Interest Publications) and Polaris (a stock image supplier) over the unauthorized use of his image on the cover of the premiere issue of SHOCK, a new magazine billed as “the Life Magazine for the new millennium.”
I won’t rehash Mr. Yon’s case here. You can find his argument on his site if you are so inclined. What I do want to bring to your attention is this: do you remember the photograph of the Vietnamese girl running naked down a road with her burned skin hanging from her body? Everybody associates that photograph with the fact that the Americans were in Vietnam. Nobody remembers that it wasn’t the Americans who dropped the Napalm that burned that child.
The story behind Michael Yon’s photograph is this: a group of children had gathered around an American unit as they were handing out toys and candy when terrorists blew up a car bomb killing several and severely wounding the little girl seen in the arms of that soldier. SHOCK magazine ran the photograph on the cover of their magazine, and they slapped this headline on top of it: “WAR IS STILL HELL! Jarring Proof that Iraq is the new Vietnam”
Then, to add insult to injury, in the table of contents they placed a photograph of Mr. Yon holding a framed copy of the print telling it’s readership “Picture This: Amateur photographer Michael Yon captured history when he snagged our cover shot while reporting on the war for his blog. Could you be our next cover photographer? Send pics!” as if he had sent it in. While, to my knowledge, Mr. Yon has not mentioned it, it irks me to no end that they referred to him as an amateur. How long do you have to spend as an imbed before you “turn pro”. He’s been doing it for well over a year that I know of and probably longer than that.
For those of you who don’t know, in Sea of Dreams my character Ian McCain is a war zone photographer who is loosely based on an amalgamation of Mr. Pyle, Mr. Galloway, and Mr. Yon. It is a dangerous way to be a photographer, much more so than any wedding I’ve ever done. Not only do our soldiers deserve respect, but so do those reporting on the war. It’s hard enough to get news from the front line when the major media has abdicated their responsibility. We don’t need major media stealing images from those who’ve done the work and implying that they support the opinion attached to them.
It is very likely that this will result in a lawsuit as it appears HFM has not been negotiating in good faith.
I won’t tell you to send letters or boycott magazines or anything like that. I just want you to be aware that what you see and read is not always the truth.
Please visit Michael Yon’s site at least once and take a look at what he has written. It’s not all pro-war, but it is always pro-soldier. Michael Yon is one of my heroes whether he likes it or not.
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