A Comic Interlude
August 20th, 2008 at 08:28am McB
A little something to amuse you until the next real post
Dinner Party
At a posh Manhattan dinner party, a Latin American visitor was telling the guests about this home country and himself. As he concluded, he said, “And I have a charming and understanding wife but, alas, no children.”
As his listeners appeared to be waiting for him to continue, he said, haltingly, “You see, my wife is unbearable.”
Puzzled glances prompted him to try to clarify the matter: “What I mean is, my wife is inconceivable.”
As his companions seemed amused, he floundered deeper into the intricacies of the English language, explaining triumphantly, “That is, my wife, she is impregnable!”
Word Contest
The local newspaper has published the winning submissions to its annual contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. Here are some of the selected results.
– Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
– Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
– Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
– Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
– Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
– Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
– Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
– Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
– Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
– Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with ‘Yiddishisms’.
– Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
Entry Filed under: Useless Fun
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