Posts filed under 'Useless Fun'
Since GP is wrestling with lawns and slides and PowerPoint, I thought I’d throw something up. Um, I meant throw something up here, which sounds a bit better. And I think I’ve identified my white-blossomed tree as a hawthorne. Turns out it’s not named Fred.
Quote du jour
Spring has returned.
The earth is like a child that knows poems.
- Ranier Maria Rilke
Question: Was Rilke influenced by the fact that he did not grow up in Wisconsin? (Will spring show up in the upper midwest, or will the seasons skip directly to humid mosquito-lovin’ summer?) Discuss.
Fun links du jour:
Regifting Robin
Write or Die: putting the “prod” into productivity
April 5th, 2009
I had a terrific idea for a lovely thought-provoking post, but I have been massively busy, and then for the past few days, rather sick, so that post will have to wait for another month.
Instead, I present the following silly questions for your discussion. Or not, if you all have something more interesting to talk about.
1. Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are going weak?
2. Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
3. Is there ever a day that matresses aren’t on sale?
4. How do those dead bugs get into enclosed light fixtures?
5. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Don’t like my silly questions (which I stole from here)? Propose one or two of your own! The more the merrier!
April 2nd, 2009
Good morning everyone. I have nothing profound in my brain at the moment, so I’m going to tell you the saga of my found puppy.
Last Wednesday evening, I was walking in my neighborhood with my two Rat Terriers when I saw a small black object about two or three blocks away running (in the street). When I got to the place where I had seen this small, black runner, I saw it again. It turned out to be a small black and white dog obviously lost. It wouldn’t come to me or follow me because of my dogs who were larger than it (almost anything would be) and agressively interested.
So I walk back to my house, deposit my dogs, climb into my truck to go to the grocery store and to look for the dog. I didn’t see it, but when I pulled into a side driveway to go to the store, there it was running from the park next to the store. I stopped the truck, got out, and called it. It came right to me. My initial thought was that it didn’t seem as big as the one I had seen in my neighborhood, but that thought soon passed.
She did not have a collar or any other means of identification. Adorable was the first thought that crossed my mind. She stayed the truck while I went to the store and rode back home as well-behaved as could be. As you know, I named her Gypsy. She’s very well-behaved in the house and has had only one accident. Bowie is now trying to play with her, but he’s bigger and a bit rough so it’s not going as well as he would like but Gypsy is holding her own.
I put up Found notices that night in and near the store plus in my neighborhood. No one has yet contacted me*. I put an ad in the local paper, but it won’t appear until next Wednesday (the paper is twice a week). So I’ve been checking the classifieds in the Sacramento paper and came across an ad this Sunday morning stating that a small black and white male dog had been found in the same vicinity as I found Gypsy. I called the number and talked to a gentleman with the appropriate name of Angel. He stated that Wednesday night, his wife had been driving home when she saw this small black and white dog run across a busy street (the one the grocery store is on). She stopped and called the dog, and it ran right to her truck and jumped in. He said that the dog had a leash and collar but no tags. He and his wife have put up Found notices where they found him (which was about an eight of a mile from where I found Gypsy) and have placed ads in the paper. He also said that the male was well-behaved.
So it appears that there were two dogs that were lost, and they got separated from each other. (I wonder if the first dog I saw was the male?) From the description, I would assume that they were litter mates. Angel said that he and his wife have three Pomeranians and probably won’t keep the male but will find him a good home if no one calls (they already have a candidate). I, on the other hand, am leaning towards keeping her if no one calls. The last thing I need is another dog, but she’s soooo cute and such a good little dog that. . . .
March 22nd, 2009
Tonight we set our clocks ahead one hour. Tomorrow YOU WILL CHANGE THE BATTERIES IN YOUR SMOKE DETECTORS.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog post.
You might have seen a variation on this making the internet rounds before. I think it was maybe four or five years ago when I first saw it. The idea was to ask people to name five famous people they would most like to meet at a party. At the time I thought it was intriguing because it made me think. And now that a few years have passed, I realize that the names I’d come up with today would be a little different. But famous doesn’t necessarily mean interesting (Sometimes the famous are the least interesting. Um, so what are they famous for?) And anyway, if I get to choose the five people I want to sit down to dinner with, why limit myself to reality? So much better to thumb through the pages of fiction and assemble my guest list from a much more entertaining group. Here’s my list, which is subject to change almost hourly as I think of yet another very cool fictional character:
- The Dowager Duchess from Dorothy Sayers’ Lord Peter mysteries. Of all the books in the series, my favorite passage is the letters to and from the DD at the beginning of Busman’s Honeymoon. She’s a much sharper cookie than she appears at first glance.
- Brother Cadfael from the Ellis Peter’s series. I’d love to spend some time talking with him. But not in the 12th century. He’ll have to come to me.
- Moist von Lipwig from Terry Pratchett’s Going Postal and Making Money. I really think he and Brother Cadfael would hit it off.
- Archie Goodwin from Rex Stout’s Nero Wolfe mysteries. Because the Yanks need representing, too, and it would be interesting to pit him against Moist in the wise-cracking department.
- Laurie R. King’s Mary Russell character. That will even the numbers up, and I think both the Duchess and Brother Cadfael would like her.
And, of course, all of you are invited, provided I can come to your party, too. What would your guest list look like?
March 7th, 2009
I was about to read an Ellis Peter’s novel. (Thanks to McB and RSS for recommending her.) As usual I couldn’t remember the title. Was it The Rose Rent or The Rent Rose? Then I started imagining what either title’s story could be.
Ms. Peter’s wrote The Rose Rent. So let’s write The Rent Rose. Maybe several.
March 1st, 2009
I know that saying c***t to some of you causes hives. That is not the goal of this post. The goal of this post is to delve into the creativity that is this group. So….
Who knows what Spoonflower is? They are a neat, small company that prints custom designed fabric. I want Cherry Bomb fabric!!! I’m picturing a cream or gray background with the cherry bomb from the t-shirts (yes, I know we have to get permission or design something else) that can be used to make bookcovers or the little totes I made for folks in Oregon. But what I really, really, really want is a dress. A Cherry Bomb dress. Think about it. A full skirt, a fun bodice, leaning towards a shirt dress with Cherry Bombs all over, some red piping, and some cute vintage cherry buttons. Or, I know, some fun Moot buttons. Better yet, some Moot fabric. Wait, Moot and Cerise and Cherry Bombs all scattered around. A few overlapping each other so the design elements look casual and not too structured. After all this group doesn’t do structured very well. Maybe a Hawaiian inspired floral design with Moot and Cerise and Cherry Bombs peeking out from the flower petals.
Maybe not so much a Cherry Bomb fabric but a book fabric. Something that has classic bodice ripper covers scattered along one edge so that when it’s made into a dress there is a border of books along the bottom. I don’t know.
Can’t you see this dress all made up? Take the black and white dress- keep the body white and use a red trim- have the overwrap part done in a fabric with Cherry Bombs scattered all over. Use two vintage cherry buttons at the waist, add a pair of red kitten heels and you’re ready for book signings all over the world. Or make the custom fabric in a deep, rich brown and have classic books scattered all over like it’s raining books. Pair that with your hair up in a bun, a pair of “librarian” glasses and watch out world.
Hmmm. think I need to go design some fabric. Anybody want some?
February 19th, 2009
The author is currently off basking in Dayton. Probably not in the balmy breezes unless the thermostat is set high and someone has brought a fan. But there will be basking. Happy Valentine’s Day.
A few weekends ago, in honor of the inauguration of the new President of the United States, I watched a marathon of movies and tv shows rather heavily featuring patriotic themes, including Air Force One, starring Harrison Ford. It’s a good, fun movie with lots of opportunities for the hero to whomp on the big bad guys and give the viewer a few vicarious thrills. I love that kind of thing. I have several favorite moments in the movie, but the one that I especially wait for comes near the end when the President, played by Ford, gives the main bad guy a vicious kick and growls (as only Ford can do) “Get off my plane!”
It happens in books, too. In J.D. Robb’s Witness In Death, there’s a scene where Dallas is feeling a bit guilty for not being more romantic. Thinking about an earlier conversation with Peabody, Dallas asks Roarke “Would you jump in front of a maxibus for me?” And Roarke replies, “Absolutely. They don’t go very fast.” Hmmm, that one might lose something out of context; but trust me, it’s funny.
Comedy or drama, the best of stories, the ones that really pull the viewer or reader in, often seem to have that kind of hook, that one quote that so perfectly sums up the whole thing, plot, character and genre.
What are your favorite quotes?
February 14th, 2009
We’re over 100 comments on the one post, and the other post is, theoretically, on topic only, so I thought I’d slip this in here, a sort of continuation on the Oldie But Goodie post. Plus which there might be people out there, somewhere, who haven’t heard the song. Also, this past weekend was the anniversary of The Day The Music Died, so it’s timely.
Don McLean’s AMERICAN PIE
A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And, maybe, they’d be happy for a while.
But february made me shiver
With every paper I’d deliver.
Bad news on the doorstep;
I couldn’t take one more step.
I can’t remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the music died.
So bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
And them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, “this’ll be the day that I die.
“this’ll be the day that I die.”
Did you write the book of love,
And do you have faith in God above,
If the Bible tells you so?
Do you believe in rock ‘n roll,
Can music save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?
Well, I know that you’re in love with him
`cause I saw you dancin’ in the gym.
You both kicked off your shoes.
Man, I dig those rhythm and blues.
I was a lonely teenage broncin’ buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck,
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the music died.
I started singin’,
(chorus)
Now for ten years we’ve been on our own
And moss grows fat on a rollin’ stone,
But that’s not how it used to be.
When the jester sang for the king and queen,
In a coat he borrowed from james dean
And a voice that came from you and me,
Oh, and while the king was looking down,
The jester stole his thorny crown.
The courtroom was adjourned;
No verdict was returned.
And while lennon read a book of marx,
The quartet practiced in the park,
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day the music died.
We were singing,
(chorus)
Helter skelter in a summer swelter.
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter,
Eight miles high and falling fast.
It landed foul on the grass.
The players tried for a forward pass,
With the jester on the sidelines in a cast.
Now the half-time air was sweet perfume
While the sergeants played a marching tune.
We all got up to dance,
Oh, but we never got the chance!
`cause the players tried to take the field;
The marching band refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the music died?
We started singing,
(chorus)
Oh, and there we were all in one place,
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again.
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick!
Jack flash sat on a candlestick
Cause fire is the devil’s only friend.
Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No angel born in hell
Could break that satan’s spell.
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite,
I saw satan laughing with delight
The day the music died
He was singing,
(chorus
I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the sacred store
Where I’d heard the music years before,
But the man there said the music wouldn’t play.
And in the streets: the children screamed,
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
The church bells all were broken.
And the three men I admire most:
The father, son, and the holy ghost,
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died.
And they were singing,
(chorus)
February 2nd, 2009
Sally: And I’m gonna be 40!
Harry: When?
Sally: Someday!
Every once in a while, I like to listen to the Oldies radio station in the car. (By Oldies, GatorPerson, I do not mean Baroque; I mean Motown.) If I can’t find anything else on the other stations, I don’t mind a little Smokey, or Beach Boys, or Otis Redding, or Beatles, or Elvis.
But lately, I’ve noticed a change in the station, and it is not good. Oh, it’s probably fine for the station, but it doesn’t bode all that well for me. I was bopping along the freeway when the station started playing the Eagles. Well, OK, I guess that’s not so bad, I suppose. Fleetwood Mac was next. Hmmm. I didn’t realize that song was that old. Here and there are peppered more such songs from the late 70’s, and then the early 80’s, then further into the 80’s. Bruce Springsteens’ Dancing in the Dark? The Police? Bryan Adams?! Seriously? I start yelling at my radio. “Bryan Adams is not an Oldie! I have that album on cassette at home!” Drivers swerve into other lanes to avoid the crazy woman. Then, the cruelest cut of all: the Oldies station played Rio by Duran Duran.
I love Duran Duran. They were the band, my band, when I was in high school. I have all their records, knew all the words to their songs as well as vital personal information about each band member by heart, repeatedly watched all their videos like the obsessed fan I was, and plastered their posters all over my bedroom walls. I saw them in concert. Twice.
And now they are on the Oldies station.
Which must mean: I am an Oldie. The fact that my 38th birthday is next month makes it all the worse. I mean, I didn’t think 38 was all that old. Until now. If someone thinks a song from 1984, a mere 25 years old, is worthy of the term “Oldie,” then I must be an antique.
25 years? Oh my Bob, has it really been that long?!
And can I just say, the quote above is from a movie (When Harry Met Sally…) that’s 20 years old?
When did you first realize you might be old? Or are you ignoring that fact?
January 26th, 2009
I came up with this idea the last time I was going through the spam, making sure no one was lost in there. If you take the time to read any of the spam comments, you’ll find that many of them read very much like a Mad Lib. And so the idea for this blog post was born. Hopefully, it will end up being an entertaining and fun diversion! *crossing fingers*
If anyone by chance doesn’t know what a Mad Lib is, this is how Wikipedia describes them:
Mad Libs (a play on ad lib, from Latin ad libitum – as you wish) is a word game where one player prompts another for a list of words to substitute for blanks in a story; these word substitutions have a humorous effect when the resulting story is then read aloud. The game is especially popular with American children and is frequently played as a party game or as a pastime.
How this will work:
Below I have listed what I need from you. I figure that you all can take turns, going round-robin, making a suggestion for one or two of the numbers in each comment. If there ends up being more than one suggestion for each number, I reserve the right to use whichever I feel will make the funniest mad lib! As this isn’t a discussion topic per se, we can just carry on in the comments with discussion as usual.
Edited to show what we have so far.
(1) ADVERB – quickly
(2) half VERB – half-whined
(3) had VERB – had blown/had returned
(4) VERB up – ascended
(5) FURNITURE ITEM – garderobe
(6) ADJECTIVE – plaid
(7) COLOR – puce
(8) COLOR – tawny
(9) ACCESSORY – handbag/tiara
(10) ADJECTIVE – mellifluous
(11) ADJECTIVAL NOUN – recalcitrantness
(12) OCCUPATION – cabana boy
(13) ADJECTIVE – adlepated
(14) NOUN and NOUN describing a person – PLETHORA AND COOK
(15) CLOTHING ITEM (plural) – galoshes
(16) PLACE – closet under the stairs
(17) his GROUP NOUN – swarm
(18) ADJECTIVAL NOUN – retribution/vindictiveness
(19) MUSICAL INSTRUMENT – piccolo/kazoo/zither
(20) ADJECTIVE – happy/wise/inebriated/obese
(21) CLOTHING ITEM (plural) – flannel shirts/socks/spats
(22) PLACE – CB Bar & Grill/Lion’s Den
(23) ADJECTIVE – sultry/loyal/maloderous
(24) LENGTH OF TIME – eons/nanosecond
(25) VERB ending in -ed – triumphed
(26) SOUND – ding dong
(27) ADJECTIVE – decisive/disgusting/obsequious
For each number, the word/word phrase that I need is given in UPPER CASE. Any additional lower case words narrow the scope a bit. For example, (2) is looking for a VERB that can follow the word half. And for an ADJECTIVAL NOUN think about nouns that can be made out of an adjective, for example, the adjective smart gives the noun smartness, from agile we get agility, and so on.
I’ve taken the first paragraph or so from a classic romantic novel to use for the mad lib. In a day or two, I’ll post the end version.
Have fun!
December 1st, 2008
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