Posts filed under 'Useless Fun'
I’m feeling under the weather (not to worry, CMS, I didn’t get it from you; my whole department at work is sick right now) and not feeling very creative. So … Ya’ll always said you’d read a certain author’s shopping list. Let’s see if you’ll read mine.
- One container Brummel and Brown margarine with yogurt $2.19
- One bottle Newman’s Own Light Raspberry & Walnut salad dressing $2.99
- One container cherry tomatoes $2.50
- Two bags of Just Lettuce $3.98
- One box Cheerios Crunch $3.69
- One half-gallon milk $2.19
- One loaf bakery-fresh organic roasted garlic bread $3.99
- One bottle All laundry detergent $4.79
- One box Green Giant cheesy broccoli and rice $1.67
- One can Bumblebee tuna $1.67
- One box Barilla rotini 89 cents
- One container fresh strawberries $2 (big and red and juicy and on sale)
- One box rye Triscuits $2.50
- Four Lean Cuisines $9
- Six-pack of toilet paper $2.79
- One 20-lb jug of Tidy Cat litter $8.99
- Farmer’s market pitstop: pint of baby red potatoes, six giant peaches, four zucchini, three ears of corn, one yellow watermelon: $11
What did you buy?
August 25th, 2008
A little something to amuse you until the next real post
Dinner Party
At a posh Manhattan dinner party, a Latin American visitor was telling the guests about this home country and himself. As he concluded, he said, “And I have a charming and understanding wife but, alas, no children.”
As his listeners appeared to be waiting for him to continue, he said, haltingly, “You see, my wife is unbearable.”
Puzzled glances prompted him to try to clarify the matter: “What I mean is, my wife is inconceivable.”
As his companions seemed amused, he floundered deeper into the intricacies of the English language, explaining triumphantly, “That is, my wife, she is impregnable!”
Word Contest
The local newspaper has published the winning submissions to its annual contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. Here are some of the selected results.
– Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
– Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
– Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
– Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
– Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
– Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
– Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
– Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
– Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
– Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with ‘Yiddishisms’.
– Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
August 20th, 2008
It was a dark and …
starry night. It had been stormy earlier, but the front had moved on and left the night sky clear. It was about the only thing that was looking good at the end of this long day. It had just been one danged thing after another, one of those days when everything had gone wrong and everyone had been getting on my case. When I could finally come up for air I knew just where I needed to be; my favorite Bar & Grill.
The B&G is a bit off the beaten path, one of those cozy joints known mostly by word of mouth and hard to find. Even as many times as I’d been there, if I was headed there from a different neighborhood I might have trouble finding it. Fortunately I knew where to look for the trail of breadcrumbs. But tonight it wasn’t necessary.
I cruised through the parking lot first, looking to see who else might be around. The usual crowd was there, as far as I could tell. And it looked like Lori and Btuda had dropped in, too. I was glad to see that as we hadn’t seen them around much recently. When I went to open the door, I had some trouble. That was unusual and I wondered if the door was becoming warped from all the rain we’d had. I took a good grip on the handle and put my shoulder to the door until I felt it give a little. As I stepped into the place I could hear laughter and snatches of conversation. TwinkleToes was at the bar, bemoaning the fate of her tomatoes to GP who was listening with a sympathetic ear and dispensing advice. RSS was bartending tonight and I signaled to her for my usual - rocks, lots of salt - and took my glass over to the big corner booth where everyone habitually congregated. There were several conversations going on all at once and the air around the big table was filled with overlapping voices. A few of those voices had been out of town for a few days, but folks always found their way back to the B&G eventually
I heard someone say, ” …
August 10th, 2008
BCB took the original picture, and a little editing helped it out. Sorta!
A good time was had by all. Of course we discussed books. And RWAs. And the impossible aunt/sister/father/you fill in the blank that so many CBs seem to have. And the perfect children CBs have. And CBs who are reading. And CBs who are writing. And reasons that writing is difficult to do. (How can a person find time if that person is also holding down 1 or more jobs?) And the CBs who are strong. No need to discuss the weak ones, since we agreed there aren’t any.
Ya’d think with only 3 of us that lunch would be shorter than when there are more. Say not so! I’d have stayed longer, but I needed to dash home between thunderstorms. Thus the need to use my telephone to check out the storm paths. I LOVE my phone. So glad McB talked me into indulging. So JenB and BCB stayed a while longer. I wonder what they talked about.
One of our topics was about competition, and how I really don’t like competitive sports because they’re, well, competitive. BCB made the observation, that I’m very competitive. Moi? Yes. Absolutely, positively, even viciously. So JenB said how could that be, if I was against such. So I admitted that having that trait doesn’t mean I’m proud of it. The good news is that I’m most fiercely competitive against myself.
Anyhoo. How about you? Care to admit to a personality defect? Or, for that matter, a personality attribute that you’re proud of?
Oh. I’m a good listener.
August 3rd, 2008
At GP’s request so that she can give us an account of the NC mini-whack on Sunday. But I note that she did not say which kind of plate I should step up to? Tectonic perhaps? There’s a topic for you, if you need one. How many kinds of plates can you name?
And for anyone who missed it, the menu is an American cook out for the rest of the weekend. BYO favorite bar-b-que sauce. Grills are fired up out back, but the corn still needs to be shucked. Also, someone give that pot of baked beans another stir.
August 1st, 2008
I’m a little verklempt, so, talk amongst yourselves.
Bluetooth is neither blue, nor a tooth. Discuss.
(Like I need to give you people a reason to talk amongst yourselves.)
July 25th, 2008
In romance novels, the hero and heroine see each other and get that thrill in the pit of their stomach. This is how we know they will end up with each other (usually after trials and tribulations).
To take this a step further, I know a woman. She has tended to get involved with men who have the “thrill factor.” About 3 years ago, she met a fellow who had that “thrill factor,” He liked to do the same things she does, and they hung out for a couple of years. However, he was not willing to commit further, didn’t really take her anywhere, didn’t really support her when she needed it, never made special plans (she always had to do that), and on occasion he drank too much. They broke up when she discovered that he was not monogamous – a deal breaker that my friend had made clear to him from the beginning. Then, my friend found out that many of the things he told her about himself were either half-truths or outright prevarications. The break-up was hard on her because they had seemed so compatible and did so many everyday things together. Sounds like a page from the “He’s just not that into You” book.
She is now in a relationship with a fellow who is smart, philosophical, pilots his own plane (a small one, but still…), makes plans for special weekends, and flies her to those places. He is attentive to her and never drinks too much. When visiting her house, he cooks for her (well, grills and smokes on the grill/smoker he bought her, but still…). I’m also told that he knows his way around female anatomy better than anyone. And when she had a non-life-threatening medical situation that required driving over 2 hours one-way to see a specialist, he went with her, and stayed with her to make certain she was taken care of. A real stand-up guy. BUT – for some reason known only to the depths of her mind – he doesn’t have that “thrill factor” for her. I’ve seen a picture – nice eyes, good hands, physically fit, and quite good looking. He also has a great, deadpan sense of humor. (When she mentioned to him that she admired his expertise with anatomy – he looked her straight in the eye and said, “I took it in school – twice.”) YET – no thrill factor. Sigh… Go figure…
A woman I work with who studies psychology, says that the “thrill” we feel is actually a fight-or-flight response to a person – mother nature’s way of telling us to keep our distance. But still we chase that adrenalin rush. Why do some of us need that adrenalin rush that the thrill factor brings? Is that why the trill factor is so important to some people? Are they adrenalin junkies? Could you feel that thrill for a man who doesn’t make your stomach flip, but is a good, steady, stand-up guy?
What do you think?
July 21st, 2008
When’s the last time you turned your mattress? Yep, I thought so. Not good, especially if one or more persons of weight sleep on it. I turn mine once a month, the day after the first of the month when I’m changing the bed linen.
So, here’s how I started. First, a blank sheet of paper. Mark the upper left corner with a 3. Twist the paper around 180 degrees so that the 3 is upside down in the lower right corner. Mark the upper left corner with a 4. Turn the paper over, left to right. Mark a 1 in the upper left corner, a 2 in the lower right (turn yourself around so the 2 is upside down compared to the 1.) If you hold the paper up to the light you’ll see a number in each corner. Now practice turning the “mattress” with the paper until you’re comfortable with it.
Get yourself a black laundry marker (indelible so it doesn’t ever run onto the bed linen). Write the numbers on the mattress as you did with the paper. (See, you’re starting with a 1 in the upper left corner.) So every 4 months you’re back a 1 in the upper left corner, and the mattress is getting more even wear.
What is your helpful hint for CBs?
July 5th, 2008
. . . a tale told by Lori, translated into coherence by BCB.
Okay, I think I’ve managed to break the code and translate the majority of this so it will make sense to everyone. It wasn’t easy. My translations are in [brackets]. You will see soon enough that it was necessary. I removed the reference to herding cats and the “just because BCB couldn’t make it work” comment. It’s better that way. Hey, no need to thank me. Anything to convince you not to do this make it easier to share photos. Really.
~BCB
Private Photo Sharing Options:
From what I understand, the group in Portland decided they want to be able to share pictures with the rest of the CBs without putting them out there for the world to see (like using the blog would). [Translation: Had she been in Portland, she could have put a stop to this then and there.]
There are a couple photo sharing websites that have options that would enable us to do just that. [Tr: But she’s going to tell you about some others instead.]
Option 1: Create a private group on a photo sharing website.
(Like www.flickr.com or www.keepandshare.com)
I am leery having one account and giving everyone the sign in and password information, [Tr: You all are crazy and not to be trusted.] but if we want all the pictures in one location, we can use something called a “Group” on the Flickr website. Everyone would need to sign up for a Flickr account, which is a part of the Yahoo family (making it easier for people with Yahoo emails). [Tr: You would have to do something and then remember what you did so you could do it again later.] It would be considered a private group, so the only way to become a member of the group is to be invited by a person who is already a member. Groups can also set up administrators and moderators that have the power to enforce any rules that govern the group. [Tr: Yeah, right.] The administrators can also temporarily remove or ban members. [Tr: With any luck, all of them.] Flickr would never allow the group content to go public. [Tr: Though it has never dealt with this group before.]
Individuals who wanted to share pictures with the group would upload their pictures to their individual Flickr account using the “private” setting. They would then choose to “share” those pictures with the group. [Tr: All this is gibberish, just ignore it.] This is pretty simple and standard stuff, [Tr: This is extremely difficult and should only be attempted by a professional.] but if people have questions, there is help available (from both flickr and myself). [Tr: If this is not confusing enough, she can make it worse.] Once pictures are shared with the group, the individual could put a link to the pictures at the Bar & Grill. People who followed the link would be prompted to sign into their Flickr account in order to see the pictures. There is also a space for people to comment on pictures in Flickr. [Tr: As long as you don’t use the letter “e” which is banned from the site.]
Members of the group are allowed to view and comment on any photos that are “shared” with the group. They can also add tags (keywords) and other various things along those lines. [Tr: Various things like more code words that will need translation.] There is also a spot for “Group Discussion.” As of right now, I’m not sure it would necessary to use the discussion area, but it is there regardless. [Tr: This is MN humour, meaning: “Not sure why you all feel the need to talk all the damn time.”]
The only other photo sharing website I came across with a “Group” option is called Keep and Share. I have not explored this site much yet, [Tr: She is incredibly busy.] but I will if y’all decide you like it. [Tr: You bother her with this, she will hurt you.] If you know of another photo sharing site that supports groups, and you think it has potential for us, please let us know!
Option 2: Use your choice of photo sharing website and send a link to private photos or albums by email.
(Like www.picasa.com, www.snapfish.com, www.shutterfly.com, www.flickr.com, and more.) [Tr: More MN humour, meaning: “If you thought that was too complicated, try doing this at home.”]
On most photo sharing websites, it is possible to upload photos with a “private” setting and share a link to those photos by email. Only the people who get the email have access to those photos. [Tr: You all will be sending a lot of email invitations.] If the CBs choose this route, people could upload their pictures to whichever photo sharing website they prefer then send an email invitation to view those photos to all the CBs. [Tr: As well as Thank You notes.]
You would not need an account to view the photos because you would be able to view them just by following the link sent to you in the email. [Tr: This doesn’t really work, but it sounds good in theory and provides hours of entertainment for admin types.] Most of these sights also have areas for people to comment on pictures.
If we did this option, we would probably need to compile an email list of those people who want to receive links to pictures (and put the list in a safe place?). [Tr: Are you kidding me? There is no safe place.] Or we could put one person in charge of the list and have that person receive email with the link and forward it to the rest of the CBs. [Tr: She just volunteered to be in charge.]
Okay, almost done: [Tr: Obviously, more MN humour.]
I actually have some concerns with either option. [Tr: Mostly that you all think you need to share pictures in the first place.] However, I have not come across anything better, so now it’s your turn. What are you thinking? [Tr: She really doesn’t want to know.] What looks good, bad, and ugly? Are there other options? [Tr: No, there are not.] Did anything I just said make any sense?
[Editor’s note: It does now that I translated everything. So, you see? Lori’s educated and highly professional opinion is that this won’t work. No need to discuss. No need for decisions. Move on to the next post.]
July 1st, 2008
We’re running out of room and I’m not sure who is next or when so…
I thought I’d just share: I have committed my Stupid Moment (not quite as bad as the Darwin Award) of the year. CMS wrote nine days till countdown, and in my head I started counting and went no, no, isn’t it the week after that? So I looked up that beautiful invitation Mary sent us and yep, I am leaving the 19th of June.
Which is where the stupid moment comes in, as I told my friend- after checking the calender- that I could drive her to the airport the 19th. *stupid crown is lifted and placed on head* Thank bob it turns out I’m driving her to the airport the 18th instead. (She also had her Stupid Moment too, thinking if her plane leaves LAX at 1:30 am on the 19th she needs to arrive in LA the 19th so I can drive her that night).
Anyway, it’s not too big a deal. She’s checking in wih two other friends and if they can’t then I’ll just be dropping her off earlier- which, in LAX is not the worse move ever. But seriously…you may all laugh. Cause we’ve been talking about this for how long and I’m just noticing? (In the good news section, it means I get to spend mroe time in Seattle and with my godfather in CA).
BTW: wapa congrats on the gramma and Good Luck finding jobs people and ((HUGS)) to those that need them and glad Bryan and Co are ok and hope everyone else is too and thanks for the book recs and I’ve heard people use a’ight (teen “gangsta” guys) and yeah.
BTW2: Finished another final (I did ok) and now just have one more to go. Which is good, because obviously my brain isn’t anywhere close to par.
BTW3: Didn’t put a title in so it didn’t publish when I hit it, making this Little Stupid Moment. 
And to throw out a topic, what’s been some of your Stupid Moments? (Don’t worry, I have a lot more)
June 11th, 2008
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