After reading the most current posts, I am now convinced that the Cherry Bombs are connected by more than a Love of Him and Her Books, (together and singly), and a love of words and reading in general.
I came home tonight from the Hospital where my mother was taken today. She had a heart attack. She has some issues that complicate the surgery she may be facing.
Then I read that others on the same board, on the same day, have people with health issues. It is more of the cosmic connection. My best thoughts and hugs I needed a *snort* when I got home so I immediately bellied up to the CB B&G. And I found humor and a hug. Just exactly what I needed.
FEAR
I have had January 18th circled on my calendar for some time. My first day to post to the Cherry Bombs. What would they think? What should I say? They will know that I am not a writer and will disregard me from now on. Yeah and I am paranoid, too. Most people that know me think I am absolutely fearless. Need something done, hey- she’ll yell at them. She speaks her mind, let her do it. But, doing something as easy as breathing to me-writing- paralyzed me with fear.
And then I sat with my mom and listened to the Doctors give her the options she faces in the next week or so. THAT is scary. Not so hot right now, more tests needed.
I thought about why I don’t link my blog to this site. I thought about why I don’t blog very much. I don’t like the answer. Because I am afraid I am not good enough. If you don’t write it, then only YOU know it, and YOU like it, so it has to be a MARVLEOUS story. Then, I look at the top of the blog and Bryan has listed “Author Schedule.” Just seeing my name on that list- to know that I will have to write something in public- just felt awesome. I am a writer.
How do/did you all get over that fear? Discuss while preparing for the next field trip to somewhere.
January 17th, 2007
Hello all, some, and others
Had a neat idea for a post- then reality intruded- so now I’m going to ramble a bit
Resolution, dissolutions, and goals- or what I plan on doing this year-
be creative every day- this can be a variety of things: writing, crafting, knitting, gardening, sewing, painting my bedroom, or even working up plans for decorating the house
actually move into my house- I now own a house, I want to make it a home. I want to quit living out of boxes, have curtains that match, and make my pantry usable.
clean out my closet- I have clothes that are 20 years old, clothes that I haven’t been able to wear in years, and clothes I simply don’t like. It’s time to get rid of them.
be a better friend- return calls, send letters, let people know when something they do touches me
Jewelry
I love jewelry. Which is a very bizarre statement for me to make because I stopped wearing a watch when I got a cell phone. My ears have grown closed so I now have one hole instead of three. A few years ago I had two gorgeous rings that were pretty, and expensive, and low/smooth so I could wear them under gloves at work and I took them off, placed them on the band of my watch, and stuck them in my backpack at a charity event I was working. That was the last time I saw them. I haven’t worn rings since. I have a necklace that has a small silver cross on it that is a match to one I got for my sister years ago. For many years it has been the only piece of jewelry I wore. And then this fall and winter happened.
I went home to OK for Thanksgiving. It was wonderful and fun and everything that a trip home should be. A friend of mine was wearing a beautiful glass pendant that I complimented her on. Turns out her mom and aunt are now making the most amazing fused glass jewelry. And I got me some. Came home with eight or so new pendants and earrings to match. Each morning I placed a new pendant on a silver chain and I was off. I started getting compliments. People noticed what I was wearing. This was pretty cool. I really liked it. Then Christmas happens. The BF gets me a really neat necklace, a sterling circle faced with diamonds that looks like it’s floating on the chain. Very nice. I’m loving the compliments.
Now, I’m going to have to go get the ears re-pierced. Not a big drama, but not something I’m really wanting to do. But I have these really cool fused glass earrings and these cute little diamond studs, and the blue topaz set my grandparents got me for college graduation, and some fun sterling silver snakes from my days working the Grand Canyon, and some chili peppers, and carousel horses, and…
Yep, I guess it’s time to admit it. I love jewelry. Too bad I still can’t tolerate make-up.
My visit to Children’s Hospital
I don’t have kids. I have rentals. It’s a nice compromise. I get hugs, pictures for my fridge, and great memories and don’t have to fight over home work, stress when someone is late getting home, or pay the orthodontist. I realize there are things I’m missing and there are times when I truly think, “Hmm, maybe I’ll do foster or adopt an older child.” then something happens to a friend and suddenly, it’s good to rent.
Teddy went into the hospital the Wednesday before Christmas for an appendectomy. Things went well, we thought, but his fever remained high. After almost a week his surgeon finally got a real live person at the pathologists office. The guy wasn’t around, what with a blizzard and holiday and all, oh well. So, while the pathologist isn’t returning calls or whatever it was he wasn’t doing Teddy is getting worse. The docs are thinking Crohn’s Disease and a million other not good things. Turns out Teddy had micro perforations in his appendix so the gunk oozed out. They finally get the fever down and he gets to go home on New Year’s Eve. He took a quick trip to Children’s in Denver and got to come home, where he laid on the couch and felt like $#^. Another trip to Children’s for a few tests and they end up keeping him and pulling the equivalent of two Coke can’s of fluid from an abscess in his abdomen. BF and I pop in Saturday after the stock show and entertain him for a bit. Talked with the nurses. “Things look good. Plan on going home Tuesday.” Talked to his mom this evening. He gets to go in tomorrow and have two more abscesses drained. This is really starting to stink. He’s a healthy active 16 year old kid who has spent the last month in a bed somewhere because of a hot appendix. I know 100 years ago this was often fatal. I know today it is still dangerous. But otherwise healthy teenagers aren’t supposed to be down from something like this for more than a few days. I’m going nuts and I’m just the friend, I don’t think I could be the parent who goes to Children’s for a day of testing and comes home three days later with my kid still in the hospital. Thanks, but I think I’ll rent.
January 17th, 2007