The Thrill of It All…
In romance novels, the hero and heroine see each other and get that thrill in the pit of their stomach. This is how we know they will end up with each other (usually after trials and tribulations).
To take this a step further, I know a woman. She has tended to get involved with men who have the “thrill factor.” About 3 years ago, she met a fellow who had that “thrill factor,” He liked to do the same things she does, and they hung out for a couple of years. However, he was not willing to commit further, didn’t really take her anywhere, didn’t really support her when she needed it, never made special plans (she always had to do that), and on occasion he drank too much. They broke up when she discovered that he was not monogamous – a deal breaker that my friend had made clear to him from the beginning. Then, my friend found out that many of the things he told her about himself were either half-truths or outright prevarications. The break-up was hard on her because they had seemed so compatible and did so many everyday things together. Sounds like a page from the “He’s just not that into You” book.
She is now in a relationship with a fellow who is smart, philosophical, pilots his own plane (a small one, but still…), makes plans for special weekends, and flies her to those places. He is attentive to her and never drinks too much. When visiting her house, he cooks for her (well, grills and smokes on the grill/smoker he bought her, but still…). I’m also told that he knows his way around female anatomy better than anyone. And when she had a non-life-threatening medical situation that required driving over 2 hours one-way to see a specialist, he went with her, and stayed with her to make certain she was taken care of. A real stand-up guy. BUT – for some reason known only to the depths of her mind – he doesn’t have that “thrill factor” for her. I’ve seen a picture – nice eyes, good hands, physically fit, and quite good looking. He also has a great, deadpan sense of humor. (When she mentioned to him that she admired his expertise with anatomy – he looked her straight in the eye and said, “I took it in school – twice.”) YET – no thrill factor. Sigh… Go figure…
A woman I work with who studies psychology, says that the “thrill” we feel is actually a fight-or-flight response to a person – mother nature’s way of telling us to keep our distance. But still we chase that adrenalin rush. Why do some of us need that adrenalin rush that the thrill factor brings? Is that why the trill factor is so important to some people? Are they adrenalin junkies? Could you feel that thrill for a man who doesn’t make your stomach flip, but is a good, steady, stand-up guy?
What do you think?
117 comments July 21st, 2008